Its been over a month since I’ve written in here. So much has changed. Tomorrow morning I’m moving out of the house I’ve shared with Chris for the last 6 months. I’m moving back in with Megan, my best friend that Chris and I lived with before moving here, 3 hours away.
I feel horrible for breaking his heart. I love him so dearly and I know he feels the same way. He has been my friend and so much more for 2 years…our anniversary would have been on October 13th. We both have some insecurites and problems that unfortunately caused our relationship to be more about fighting and tears than anything else…I can’t really explain it. I just feel that we need to be apart right now and get our shit together individually before moving forward together. It hurts so badly…worse than I expected it to since I’m the one that is making the decision. To see the pain on his face and feel it when he holds me these last few times is basically killing me. He keeps asking me not to go. I feel like breaking down every time but I’m trying to stay strong. I’ve been waiting until he isn’t around and crying my eyes out alone.
We have both made some mistakes in how we treated eachother and we have both taken eachother for granted and I feel like we kind of lost what we used to have in the process. We fell for eachother hard, and depended on eachother too much. I need to be alone for a while. He needs to, also. He just doesn’t really know it right now. I have a lot of hope for us in the future, as long as he doesn’t give up. I want him to know that I believe in him and I know he can take care of himself. More than anything I just want us both to be happy. It’s super cliche but we need to be able to make ourselves happy before being happy together.
I barely have any packing or cleaning done…
at least i have myself. i suppose that’s getting to be enough, these days.
so, i’m almost finished with my first week of training for eHarmony. even though i’m an eHarmony customer care rep, i’m actually employed by a company called telerx that basically takes on clients that have chosen to outsource their customer service to be off-site. not because they don’t care, but mostly because telerx has a reputation for providing awesome customer service. they have a lotttt of big clients, but eHarmony is one of the small, newer ones. the actual site i work at in king’s mountain was just built….2 years ago i think? there are about 150 people working there now but the building has the capacity for 600. so its cool to kind of be one of the first.
i’m pretty sure this is going to be my favorite job, ever. i’ve worked in quite a few call centers, ranging from big corporations to small businesses to healthcare…so i’ve basically seen it all when it comes to customer service. i’ve grown to become pretty opinionated about training methods, quality monitoring, and shit like that when i start a new job. i will say that i have been nothing short of blown away by how great and thorough and informative our training has been so far, but a lot of that may have to do with how awesome the trainer is. plus, this company actually cares about how their employees are feeling and genuinely wants everyone to succeed. literally everyone i have met, even the higher-ups, are just super welcoming and friendly. loves it.
SO yeah that’s kind of what i’ve been busy with. i’ve been really fucking tired, mostly. i didn’t work for like…7 months? so i got used to staying up all night and sleeping all day. getting on a normal sleep schedule has been difficult. waking up early is always going to suck. when i get home from work i pretty much just get dinner together, watch one or two things on tv, do my homework if i’ve got any, and pass the fuck out. honestly, i’ve kind of been sucking at school this quarter. i’ve neglected my schoolwork a little bit, and i’m not doing well at ALL in my perspective class. i’m kind of expecting to fail and have to do it again. i really do not think i’m ready for all of this technical drawing and stuff. i wish i would have switched it out for another class and just taken this one later! but i guess i just need to get used to my work schedule and make more time for school.
i am sorry i haven’t posted in the last few days. (except for those videos that megan and i were dying over because we were were completely stoned.) i will fix that soon! promise!
so yeah i started work today. i enjoyed it. i think i am going to like my new job. yay!
